The world as I see it…

It’s 3:24 am as I begin to write this… why?  well, I’m up late because I fell asleep earlier watching a movie that you normally don’t fall asleep to.  Aliens….  one of the best sci-fi movies ever made and a sequel that probably ranks among the top 3 or 5 sequels all time.   I think I first saw this movie when I was about 12 and I have to say – this movie gave me nightmares.   Well… it wasn’t that bad…  just the occasional needing to leave the light on when I went to sleep kind of feeling.  The only other movie to do that to me was Poltergeist.  After that movie I never had a bed that had an ‘underneath’ space…   never told my mom that though.  If she reads this, it’ll probably explain why I wanted a water bed or one with a solid base when I was a kid.

So – about Aliens.  This movie is just all kinds of intense, funny, sometimes predictable, but of all things – it’s just a suspenseful film that has you thinking everything’s okay one minute, and then BAM, out comes an Alien and we’re down a couple more soldiers.

Seriously though – who sleeps through a movie like this?  Well…  probably someone who has seen it like a hundred times.

I woke up from my nap and wasn’t disappointed that I slept through it…  but it did make me think of something I’ve thought of several times but never really written it down or talked about it to people.  And that is, the difference between watching a movie for the first time (in a theater or alone) and watching it just to pass the time as it’s a sunday evening and you have nothing else better to do.

There are a handful of movies that I love and can watch over and over again because they are either just action packed and “fun” or because I can laugh at the jokes over and over again, no matter how ridiculous.

But there’s one small problem…  I’ve seen them all.  And I know what’s going to happen…  how it’s going to happen…  when it’s going to happen.   Although it’s somewhat “fresh” in my brain as I haven’t seen most movies in a while and watching certain ones can me refreshing, it’s still not the same after the first and/or sometimes second time watching it.

Let me make a list of only a few movies for example which I will talk about.  Some of which are obvious, and some will take some explaining but can also come out being obvious as well:

• The Matrix
• The Sixth Sense
• Star Wars: A New Hope
• Aliens
• Dancer in the Dark
• Somewhere in Time

Starting with The Matrix.   I will admit, I was one of the many who completely missed this movie at the theater…  it wasn’t even close to being on my radar.  (Overshadowed by Star Wars, Ep 1 perhaps).  I didn’t even know of it until it came out on DVD and, in fact, was practically talked into watching it by my friend from U of M, Eric Rogers, on a random day I was over at his apartment.

I think it was just us two watching in his basement…  the movie started and from the very beginning all I could think is, “what the hell is going on?”.   And as it went further I asked again… “what the hell is going on?”.

We got to the scene where Neo (Thomas Anderson) was unplugged, fell through the slide of goop and was pulled up by that crane.  Literally, the minute after Morpheous says the line “Welcome to the real world”, I about had a mind meltdown.

Now, I don’t care who you are and who reads this.  We’re all different when we watch movies, and I’m probably one of the very few that was completely mind blown by this one….  but in a way it was to a point where I couldn’t watch anymore without going back a bit and kind of doing a “do-over”.  (kind of what we all thought after we saw the scene with the Architect in Reloaded…  am I right?).

This whole time it was like a confused yet funny laugh I was exerting and I couldn’t go on without going back a couple chapters to try to figure out what the heck just happened.   I know that’s not fair and something I would never usually do…  but it was an option at the time and I don’t think there was another one for me.

We went back only a couple chapters… when Morpheus and Neo first meet and talk before Neo takes the red pill.   And then when we caught up, I was still saying “wtf?”.   Yeah…  going back did nothing.

Slowly but surely things came together ‘just right’ as the movie went along, although I did have to watch it once or twice more to grasp a few key details. And since I’m one who hates to guess and predict what happens, I enjoy every moment as if it’s happening for the first time ever in any movie or as if the “obvious” thing won’t happen.  Sometimes it does, but for The Matrix, I think every single scene was like “omg, that was friggin’ ridiculous”.  It had the story that came together throughout, and on top of that was just kick-a$$ action in every scene!

The lobby scene…   are you kidding me?   When that scene ended, my jaw was in my lap for like 5 minutes.  I don’t think I blinked the entire sequence.   Then the fight between Neo and Smith…   sick from start to finish – especially the finger throat choker move…   holy crap!

Every single moment of that movie just floored me.  My little obsession for this movie went to a point where I recorded it to VHS and probably watched that video a thousand times…  almost every night before I went to bed.  Many times I’d be stuck up all night watching the whole movie.  As of today, still not sick of it.

The Sixth Sense is an obvious one.  Now, I have some friends who claim they knew it the whole time from their first viewing.  Okay, yeah…   good for you…   (liars).    But in the end, this is the kind of movie that once you’ve seen it, yes a second time through can really make you watch it differently (like The Usual Suspects, Memento, A Beautiful Mind, et al) and pick up on a few things that you would have never noticed before, but really there’s not much of a reason to watch it again.   Unless you’re like me and watch it like 10 years later just for fun and realize “holy crap, that’s the girl from The O.C.”.    So yeah…   haha!  That’s about the extent of the “thrill” that comes from watching again.

I think The Sixth Sense is an incredible movie…  but as opposed to The Matrix, very very low on the replay list of films.

Star Wars…    Well, we’ll just say any Star Wars movie, because I actually saw ESB before I ever saw ANH.  I wasn’t old enough to understand anyway, but it just happened that way – however it was.   I have faint memories of being in an indoor theater with my parents to watch Empire…  I must have been 4-ish.   And when I say “indoor” I mean that when I was a kid, we rarely went to the movie theaters.  It was all about the drive in.    Pay a couple $ per person, whatever it was (I never asked) and you get 2 or 3 movies…  and if it was 2 movies, you watched one, then another, then the first one again.  So yeah, we’re talking like 6 hours at the movies.   I liked this because I would play on this playground for most of the first movie…  eat the best french fries I ever tasted in my life and eventually come back to the car and watch the movies.   As always, I’d be passed out about halfway through the second movie and miss almost everything. 

Anyway, Star Wars for me is probably my all time favorite sci-fi, space fantasy story.   George Lucas has obviously done something that pretty much took over a good portion of the world, not only with just the movies themselves, but I think that it’s a fact that no other movie or concepts from a movie are referenced more in OTHER films and TV shows than Star Wars.  And same with real life.    Please tell me you’ve never pretended to “use the force” when walking through automatic doors.   Go ahead…  lie and tell me you’ve never done that or thought that – only if you’re actually fans of the movies.  

But the reason it’s on this list is because when I first saw the lightsaber – I wanted a lightsaber.   I think we all did…  but wouldn’t mind one that we couldn’t accidentally cut our hand off with.     Darth Vader…  that guy was the ultimate bad guy.  I remember, when Luke took off Vader’s mask at the end of ROTJ, I couldn’t look…  my dad had to pull my hands from my face to I could see.   I don’t know why I was freaked out… but hey, I was 6.   The Force!  I mean, how many times have we sat on the couch, looking at the remote across the room and wishing we could float it towards us like Luke getting his saber in ESB?   Force lightning…  bad, but really cool! 

There are several other parts of the movies that were fun and unforgettable, but all in all this movie is much different than the previous two (Matrix, 6th sense) because it wasn’t that it effed with my head the whole time or had me thinking one thing the whole movie just to reveal I was an idiot….   no, this movie opened up a new world of fantasies that still stick in my head to this day (some) and pretty much is THE movie of my generation…  and maybe some others too.

Aliens.  Okay, now this movie doesn’t need much because I already spoke of it earlier…  but I will say that like the time I saw ESB, though a sequel, this was the first “Alien” movie I saw.  I did not see the first film until after I saw Aliens (from what I can recall) so this was all fresh from the start.

I wanna say I was about 10 when the movie was released…  yet I don’t think I saw it, or was allowed to see it, for a few years afterwards.   My parents were really cool about us watching R-rated movies or somewhat scary movies when we were kids…    it wasn’t a big deal.  We could handle it.   But could you believe that although the movie shows on Comedy Central these days, Ghostbusters was actually a pretty scary movie to me when I was a kid? 

Speaking of scary movies and parents letting me watch with them – I don’t think I can ever forgive my parents for allowing me to watch the movie The Fly with them when I was a kid.   There’s a reason I still have not seen that movie in like 20 years, nor will I ever see it again, for that matter.   *shiver*.   There is something seriously wrong with that movie and although it’s probably really cool or whatever, no way I will watch it again.  Call me whatever name…  I’m not gonna watch it…  nu uh.   nope!

Anyway – Aliens for me was a pretty scary movie.  And it was intense…  heart would skip a beat…  I’d hold my breath as they are walking slow and looking around the corners.  I’d get so nervous at every beep and click by the motion sensor and even when the credits rolled, I was just like “whoa…  wow!”.   And that was when I was like 13.  As I grew up, the movie just got cooler and cooler, and as I understood more of it, I enjoyed it more.  (talking about some of the one-liners I didn’t get when I was so young).  And now, it’s still a little scary when I watch, but also still awesome.

Dancer in the Dark.   I was 23 when I saw this movie for the first time…  and not in the theater, which I kind of regret, but thankful I was surrounded by about 30 of my friends when we watched it on DVD.  This was one of many great movies that came out during the time I was in Blast back in 2000-2001 and although several people went to the theater to see it, I think I opted for something like Gladiator or X-Men instead.   I think we all saw X-Men together, but I can’t remember.

So, this movie…   probably of any movie I’ve seen, has the ability to just make me very angry.  Like…  emotionally just fighting with the film…  watching the events happen and just feeling nothing but the deepest and most sincere sympathy for Selma and nothing but hate towards Bill.   And though I’ve seen the movie a few times, it still gets to me in that way where I just am so shocked by it that I can’t move when the movie ends.  It happened the first few times I’ve seen it and it happened just yesterday – which was the first time in about 6 years that I watched the movie.

Which brings me to the point of this entire blog…  and I will talk about this before I mention the last movie on my list.

I’ve noticed the emotional impact a movie can have on me.  I will not deny that I have cried at the movies and during certain scenes….  heck, I even cried during season 4 of LOST when Desmond calls Penny…  oh my gosh, that was so beautiful.    Most of the time when that happens though – it’s the music that does it.  Not just the acting or the writing…  but the music can be so beautiful it can bring out some emotions.

That being said, all that I have talked about, until Dancer in the Dark, was basically how amazing the initial experience was when I saw the movie the first time…  and then kind of getting into what it’s like now when I watch it.  Not necessarily bad or lacking in quality – just that it’s different.

There are so many movies that I watch now where I find myself wishing there was a way I could remove my knowledge of these films and watch it as if I had never seen it before or knew what to expect in any of them.  Like the first time Yoda pulls out his lightsaber to fight Dooku…  or the freeway scene in Matrix Reloaded…  or when Darth Vader tells Luke “I am your father”.   I know I kinda geeked out there and told some obvious ones, but I think you get the idea.   What if there was a way we could erase part of our memory that knows that specific film, just for the thrill of watching it and experiencing it new and fresh over again?

Obviously it’s always going to be a fantasy…  but also, if that could happen, I wouldn’t know why I was watching it again or what was going on, right?   It’s a neat idea, but doesn’t make a whole lot of sense considering it’s a feeling I want to feel over again but you can’t.  A first time is a first time, and you don’t get a do-over.   But as more time goes by for some of these movies – The Matrix especially – I just wish there was a way I could experience it new, as if I was watching it for the first time…  maybe even in the theater this time and opening night.    Sometimes it’s just the story…  other times it’s the special effects that you just want to experience new again.  Like the “bullet time” in The Matrix, and was also used in many movies after that – my most favorite copy was in the beginning of Swordfish.

All that said, and now I have to talk about the last movie on my list – and to this day probably my all-time favorite movie – Somewhere in Time.

This movie I have watched 4 times in my life.   That it 4 total and I know because I have kept count. 

Somewhere in Time, for me, is probably the first movie that ever made me cry.   I remembered my mom talking of this movie one time when I was younger and she was watching it airing on TV.  I think I stuck around for a little bit but didn’t really pay much attention to it…   just kinda went, “yeah whatever…  chick flick!”  

I was in college when I saw this for the first time.  I was at the Canton Public Library and it was 1996-ish and everyone at school and in my music classes were talking of this new movie that came out about Beethoven called “Immortal Beloved”.    I thought the movie was pretty good, though doesn’t touch “Amadeus” at all…   but I digress.

I was looking for Immortal Beloved in the movie stack that they had and couldn’t find it.  I later found out that they did have it, but it was checked out.   Bummer…  but since at that time I didn’t realize they had movies to check out, I looked for some others that I wanted to see.  I was actually looking for the movie Stargate (which was there) and right next to it was Somewhere in time.  I don’t know what it was but I picked up the box, took a look at it and said “eh, what the heck?”.    I checked out something like 5 or 6 movies that day…   but in the end I only watched one of them…    Somewhere in Time.

(And one of my other favorite movies – Shawshank Redemption – was in that stack of movies that I failed to watch…   I didn’t see it for another 4 years or so.  oops!)

With the movie Somewhere in Time – I won’t talk about this movie too much…  I won’t quote it…  and I won’t tell anyone a whole lot of what I think or thought of this movie.   But I will say that I remember laying on my bed, watching across my room at home and experiencing this movie for the first time.  It was about 3 in the afternoon on a weekend when I was home.  And for the first time, I don’t think any of my siblings or mom bothered me or called for me for the entire duration of the movie.

I actually did cry at a couple places during the movie…  but when it was over and the credits rolled, I think I cried for about an hour.   I buried my head in my pillow and just cried.   I don’t think I understood it…   I’m not exactly sure what it was about it that moved me the way it did.  But it happened.

I feel I need to let you all know that I was crying because I feel it couldn’t have ended any happier.  Most of the time people cry because of sadness.  But I saw this movie a little differently…   towards the end of the film, I was sad and shocked…  but at the very end when they meet again (in Heaven?), it was just….   wow.  …   I just can’t think of the words.   I really can’t.

Although I already said it, 4 is the number of times I have watched this movie…  and I still consider it my all-time favorite.   I think that feeling that I get when watching it is something I cherish and want to hold onto as long as I can…   and the next time I watch it, whenever that may be, I would like to experience it as new and as fresh as I can. 

GH